12 Tips to Feel Good 🔑
What’s inspiring Erica right now?
I’m inspired by our ability (and responsibility) to nourish ourselves from within.
For so long, I looked for someone or something on the outside to make me feel good. I often looked for a kind of instant "hit" - that feeling you get from dopamine with something new and exciting.
While those moments of pleasure may feel great, unfortunately, that shiny feeling isn’t sustainable. When it comes to dopamine, the good feeling inevitably fades, leaving us to look for our next “hit”.
That hit can come in a lot of different ways: from a drink, a drug, sugar (which is also a kind of drug), coffee, an exciting new relationship, a cupcake (or seven), a big exciting purchase, or any of the other ways that we go for that thing that takes us away from what we’re feeling and tosses a dose of sparkles over our life...for a brief moment.
What that means is that we end up using people and substances to help us feel good, but eventually that feeling fades, leaving us to move on to the next exciting opportunity for pleasure…which inevitably fades and leads us into suffering.
So what can we do instead? What else is there?
Now, I’m learning how to cultivate good feelings inside in a sustainable, long-term way. I do that by nourishing and nurturing myself and not waiting for someone or something to do it for me.
It’s the difference between an externally-focused reality that is waiting for some kind of Prince Charming to come and rescue me (and I’m completely helpless until that happens) versus planting my flag and declaring that I am the creator of my life and how I feel, what I do, and what I get from life depends on my own actions and habits I cultivate, not some external ticket or easy pill that’s just handed to me.
❤️
12 Ways I Help Myself Feel Good:
Cook bone broth in the slow cooker to nourish myself with healthy fats, collagen, amino acids, minerals, proteins, and other good stuff my body needs to be healthy (see the recommendation section below for more info on what exactly). You can watch a video of me making a fresh batch of chicken bone broth :)
Nourish my nervous system with plants that help me ease and replenish my inner resources; ie Milky Oats, Nettle, Milk Thistle, Passionflower, and Tulsi.
Soothe my gut with tea from plants like Calendula, Plantain, Marshmallow Root, Fennel, Licorice, Dandelion, and Burdock Root.
Slow down and take the pressure off of myself to please other people (which is another form of addiction, btw).
Rest when my body is tired (and encourage myself not to feel guilty about it)
Give myself the time and space to tune in to myself.
Treat myself to a massage when my body really needs one.
Let myself sit in silence with a cup of tea instead of constantly blasting myself with noise and chatter from the outside world.
Give myself the time and space to do the things that bring me joy, like working in the garden, reading a good book, or playing with puppies.
Listen to myself, and especially to my body, and give her what she asks for.
Be patient with myself and everything I am feeling and going through, trusting that Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will be my inner Queendom of strength and power.
Choose to speak kindly to myself, especially when I’m going through a hard time, learning something new, or not feeling very well, knowing and trusting that not only is this discomfort temporary and will pass, but it will lead me somewhere or into some new understanding that will serve my highest growth and potential.
Note: We’re not into quick fixes here. There is no magic pill to long-term wellbeing. These things take time and are made up of small daily actions.
That's why I make it my practice to listen and respond to what comes up within me with an attitude and philosophy of patience, acceptance, and a desire to care for myself with the same commitment I would care for someone I love.
When in doubt, I ask myself:
“What would someone who loves themself do?”
❤️
This month Erica recommends
Nourishing Broth book - speaking of making bone broth as a practical way to nourish myself, this book is the Holy Grail of broth.
It includes lots of information on why it’s so good for you plus a smorgasbord of recipes from around the world.
Reading this book inspired me to go out and get a slow cooker and start making broth for myself and the dogs. It's SO easy and the whole family is better off for it.
I feel like this is one of those books that is required on the bookshelf of a happy, healthy home.
Beyond Victim Consciousness: Guiding Principles for Life by Lynne Forrest
I’m super into this book right now. It’s shedding a lot of light on how I have engaged in SO much drama and consequently how I created all the suffering in my life that I then complained about.
This is a practical guide to help us see ourselves and how we’ve been programmed to resist reality and suffer in so many ways.
This feels like an important read on the journey of coming home to the truth of who we are and letting go of all the bullshit that we are not.
The Way to Love by Anthony De Mello (the Pocket book)
Omg, this one. It’s become my favorite companion I like to read in the morning as part of my morning spiritual practice.
This little gem helps me see the ways I take myself away from my joy and make myself a prisoner of false beliefs and my addiction to other people’s approval.
It shines a bright light on the limiting beliefs and crappy programming of society imprints in our brain that keeps us down in the darkness, and offers some beautiful and practical keys to setting ourselves free.
ps - I shared it with my mother and she loves it!
What’s the latest news on Erica’s land?
Ashley and Dijan on the land at our last meeting discussing the design of the house and where it will go
I've made MASSIVE PROGRESS forward with the design of my house!
My friends and designers Ashley and Dijan (pictured above) have been working with me to pull out the highest clarity of what I want in the land and home - essentially how I want to live my life in the coming years.
After some deep reflection and deliberation, I decided that I don’t want to build a retreat center on my land for other people, as I originally thought.
I want to build my own sanctuary (talk about nourishing myself).
Instead of trying to fit dorm-style accommodations on the land to house 6-8 people, I’m just going to have a bigger main house and a smaller guest house.
If I want to host a retreat, there are plenty of spaces nearby to house guests.
But then the questions arises, out of the two houses, what do I start building first?
The larger house would have more space, more rooms, and all the things my heart could want, like a fireplace and an indoor bathtub. It would be the house that could hold a family one day...maybe.
The smaller house would be much more simple - great for a single person - and I would have to let go of some of the things I really want in order to keep the budget more affordable and to make it easier (and faster) to build. This would serve as a guest house on the land.
So, what do I choose?
Go all-in on the bigger house first and strive for everything I want, or start with more humble beginnings where I let go of my shiniest desires and just make sure I’m meeting my basic needs?
I chose to start small with the guest house, lovingly named Casa Libelula, which is Spanish for "Dragonfly House."
Here’s one of the first drafts of the ground floor of Casa Libelula. Because we’re planning to use cob as our building material we can achieve such custom flowy shapes.
It’s going to be a humble earthen abode where I’ll live for probably a year or two before the other house is built (inshallah).
That way, I’ll be able to have a place to live on the land sooner rather than later and I can work with what I have to get it done.
We are looking at a projected timeline of June and July to draft, refine, and finalize the house design, get the materials list, order materials, assemble the crew, and then begin the earthworks to flatten the land, create terraces, dig the foundation in August, and then hopefully start the muddy magic of building the structure sometime around September. Woo hoO!
It’s becoming more real than ever! This is SO exciting :)
Here are the dear goofballs, Ashley and Dijan, behind the design magic!
Erica’s message to you this month
When life gets hard, take care of yourself.
When life is going good, take care of yourself.
No matter what, take care of yourself, because when you’re good, everything is good. And when you’re feeling empty, drained, hungry inside, nothing is good.
So feed yourself. And I don’t only mean food (but that's important too). I mean feed yourself the things that light you up, bring you pleasure, and help you feel alive.
Give yourself the time you deserve to fill your cup. Put on your favorite music and dance. Move your body, connect with your body, and feel the aliveness in your body when you move it to a beat that makes your heart jump for joy.
Choose joy. Especially in those moments when it’s hardest to do so. Because it’s there and choosing it is like flexing a muscle. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
I know it can be hard, and it doesn't mean don't grieve and acknowledge your sadness and whatever you're going through. That's important because you can't heal what you don't feel.
But what's also true is that we can choose to see what's good, what's working, and what we have to be grateful for even amidst all the downs of life.
As one of my favorite teachers says: "Sometimes our joy is the cause of our smile, and sometimes our smile is the cause of our joy."
So smile, in spite of it all - or because of it all - because it's there's a deeper muscle you're flexing when you choose to smile from within instead of waiting for the world on the outside to make you smile.
Photos of Erica on the land
Looking ahead with the highest hopes while staying grounded in gratitude in the present. Photo by Caleb Auston, March 2022
Before the rains. Photo by Caleb Auston in March 2022
After a few months of rain! Photo by Jeff Moulton in June 2022
For more of my latest photos and videos about my land and life in Guatemala head over to my Facebook page here.
Last thing!
If you want to support my land project and have more direct contact with me, then consider joining my new subscriber group on Facebook for $10/mo.
The "High Vibe Tribe" is a community of amazing souls who follow my videos and here we're learning ways to live our best life, together.
Every 2 weeks we do a zoom call meetup, which is a great chance to meet me (and each other), ask me any questions, and just generally get to know each other better. I hope to see you there! 😃 ❤️ 🚀
